Something your partner did cause you pain and frustration. You want to tell them what hurt you, but you seem to always end up in a fight when you bring it up. Sound familiar? In this episode, I get into the specifics of how you can deliver feedback about something your partner did and what you'd like them to do differently in a way that actually gets results. Every single couple has to have these conversations, but you can develop skills that can reduce the negative fallout and even bring you closer.

As you listen to this episode, you’ll hear about:

• What NOT to do in an emotionally-charged conversation
• The steps you can use every time to have conversations that help you feel closer
• How to remember the point of these conversations when you're in the middle of it 
• Reducing the amount of residual pain that comes from messy conversations
• Why and how to take ownership of your feelings in a conversation

And more.

“That's a big part of what relationships can do for us. They give us a safe place to work out old feelings”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen
 
E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.

Hot Moments in This Episode:

• Why you shouldn’t “air your grievances” (3:57)
• How a laminated checklist helped my relationship (9:41)
• Why you might set a time limit on your conversations (11:08)
• The “cheap booby prize” you may be taking instead of satifaction (15:02)

 I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Related episodes of Sex.Love.Power:

Defensiveness episode

Poorly Timed Conversations episode

The 5 Winning Relationship Strategies episode

The 5 Losing Relationship Strategies episode

Terry Real’s books:

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

The Settling Down Together Checklist

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.