Sex.Love.Power.: Sacred Sexuality, Conscious Polarity, and Waking Up In Love
Our pleasure can be the fuel for abundant, sustainable work, service, and play throughout our long lives.
Our sexuality can be a wholesome pillar of our daily experience.
Our marriages can be fueled by desire rather than duty.
Monogamy can be the hottest place on earth.
It’s a confusing time to be a heterosexual, monogamous couple. The love and passion you desire may be more an inner urge than something you really see people around you living. But there are a growing community of devoted couples creating monogamy as a conscious spiritual crucible. There are couples using their marriages to fuel their leadership and service and activism. Welcome to Sex. Love. Power. where we convene the conversations that unlock new possibilities in your life and relationship. I’m your host Michele Lisenbury Christensen. Over the past 26 years, I’ve helped thousands of couples create the love and sex they desire. Kurt and I, in 23 years of marriage and adventures together before that, have suffered, avoided, dared, and triumphed in countless ways. Now, I’m here to help you get more peace, more connection, and more passion in your days and nights, so you’ve got the energy and attention left over to be the change you wish to see in the wider world. Everything you want in love and sex and beyond starts with YOU, and it starts right now. Let’s tend your flame.
Sex.Love.Power.: Sacred Sexuality, Conscious Polarity, and Waking Up In Love
Defensiveness
I want to devote a whole episode to the topic of defensiveness: how we engender it in each other, and why we get defensive ourselves. This is one of the biggest things I see stopping couples from communicating effectively, from connecting more deeply, and from experiencing more turn-on and erotic charge in their relationships. So if you've had defensiveness on either side of the conversation, this episode is for you.
As you listen to this episode, we’ll cover:
- Reasons you get defensive- whether it’s stemming from you or from your partner
- What to do when your partner or someone else seems defensive.
- What to do when you feel unfairly attacked or accused
- How to calm down when either of you has gotten defensive
And more.
E.g. Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response on our voicemail at 206-659-9865 or inside our free Conscious Couples' Circle on Mighty Networks.
“It's a tremendous challenge and opportunity to be fresh in today's conversation, rather than to call up that whole library of painful experiences that everybody, even in a good relationship, has over years and years together, because you're both human.”
-Michele Lisenbury Christensen
Hot Moments in This Episode:
- Why you should celebrate when defensiveness comes up [5:37]
- One of the best tools for dismantling defensiveness when bringing up an issue [15:25]
- Signs that your partner may be becoming defensive [17:35]
- What happens when you “throw in the kitchen sink” [26:40]
I wish for every couple listening today is to be able to talk about the most tender things, the most raw things, the deepest reactions you have to one another because those contain the gold of both your personal evolutions and the most intimate relationship that you can possibly have with each other.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Self-Regulation Toolkit Part I: Regulating The Freeze Response
Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2: Fight or Flight
If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.
If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you, please leave a rating and ideally a review on your favorite podcast platform.
Ready to bring about a transformation in your relationship to yourself, your body, and your partner? CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.